Darling please, just make it go away;

Outside the sky is clear yet no stars shine and the moon seems so far away tonight.. Not a sound stirs the still night, I am well beyond sleep. Time seems to have escaped my reality.

I told myself I wasn't going to write when I was feeling like this, yet it wouldn't be a very honest journal, would it? Like a beautiful rose love has its thorns. Life has its road blocks. Sometimes it all seems to much, I just wish it would all go away, the pain, the memories. One must keep going though.

I often stay up late, thinking and ironically dreaming. I do know in my heart all will be well and I will soon be in your arms. These are hard times for us both, but my darling, don't give up. I believe in you. You can push me away.. i'll still be here waiting. 

There are times in ones life when many things seem to happen at once, a cluster of negative emotions, a cluster of negative happenings. Yet whilst these times are hard remember, everything that once made life beautiful to you; the soft pink of a rose, the way the sun shines through the trees... It is all still there.

Until next time my darlings...

I hold my head up to the sky;

 Asoft breeze blows through my open balcony doors, the trees outside dance in autumns breath. Rustling leaves and the faint murmur of the city can be heard, life is full of strange happenings and unexpected events that speed our train to new stops, new lessons and new experiences. Sometimes though the train seems to be going so fast that one begins to wonder, will it crash?

My room is a utter disaster at the moment, a room that is full of my collected memories, my journeys and my hopes and dreams. It represents me and the life I have lived, all put together in one room. A room that seems to echo the mess of my current state of mind. Yet it is calm at the same time as the dawn sunrise casts its warm shadows through the curtains. My inner turmoil is being sorted through one peice at a time. One ache and one hurt at a time.

Inspiration can be found everywhere; the way nature lives in beautiful harmony, the way soft sunlight hits my darlings eyes, the way a hot summer's afternoon lying under a willow tree can perfectly show your heart what it wants, you just have to lift your head

Yesterday, I left school, I 'dropped out' as they put it. Something that is many times considered to be only for the hopeless, the ones with no goals or ambition.What if I said though that I know there is more to life and I know I am destined for other things and I know everything will be alright? I left a world that lacked inspiration, but no, i'm not dreamer with her heads in the cloud. I want to live a real life, full of real beauty and real experiences. In a real life there are challenges, growth and sometimes pain, as long as it is real, then I live a beautiful life full of people I love and a life that is full of inspiration.

No matter what life throws at you, remember you can do it. Nothing comes into our life that we cannot over come..

Until next time my darlings...

Somewhere between the pond and the forest;

Trees stood bare as their leaves fell and the sky filled with clouds cried softly. The sound of birds singing to their loves could be heard over the soft falling rain and the air was bitterly cold. The air smelt of freshness, of new beginnings.

Whilst this is not the first time I write to you, maybe a quick introduction is needed as time passes to quickly and the mind can forget.

Favourite Smell; chocolate&rraspberries

Favourite Sound; accordion

Favourite to your sense of touch; Frogs&petals

Favourite Flower; Wild Roses

Favourite Bird; Swan

  This will be my journal, my space, for my thoughts,dreams and inspiration. Life brings changes and experiences, choices to make and decisions to carry through.

Until next time my darlings..